Xander and the Cybertronians
by Jake456
Summary: On his road trip, Xander finds the Ark.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own either BtVS, Transformers: the original series or the movie.

AN: This is a big AU of BtVS and Transformers G-1 and the movie. The volcano never activated the ARK and Megatron and the others never got onboard it before Earth's gravity got them.

AN2: There may be other crossovers involved in this story.

Chapter 1

Xander's road trip had taken him to Portland Oregon; he wanted to see Mount St Hilary. As he walked around the mountain he saw what looked like a massive ship embedded in the side of the mountain.

"How did this not get noticed by people?" Xander said to himself.

As he walked into the hole he saw what looked like there was damage, Xander said, "Hello?"

Teletraan 1 activated at the sound, it sensors closed in on the voice.

Its systems activated, it did not recognize the species but it could tell that it was not mechanical but organic, was it a faulty life form?

Xander called again, "Hello?"

The sounds seemed to be some sort of language; it got its vocal systems to begin to analyze the syntax and vocal patterns.

After a second of research into the creature's voice it responded with, "Hello."

Xander nearly jumped out of his skin when something responded to him.

Teletraan 1 asked, "What are you? What are you made of?"

Xander said, "I am human and I guess I am made outta flesh and blood."

It replied, "insufficient answer; all life is mechanical, you are not a true life form. You are something else."

Xander growled and said, "I am too alive you rust bucket and if that's your attitude, I am so out of here."

Teletraan 1 spoke up and said, "please don't leave, I require.....aid."

Xander smirked, "So, you need help from the fake life form?"

"Yes," the computer replied.

"What could I do for you, I am not exactly a mechanic," Xander said.

"Activate my repair systems," Teletraan 1 said.

"Okay and how do I that?" Xander asked.

"I shall attempt to aid you creature," the computer said.

"Hey, you can all me Xander," he said.

"Xan'dar," it said.

"It's Xander," Xander said.

"Xan'dar?"

"Whatever," Xander said.

"Also, how do I know that you're not going to go on a killing spree after I help you," Xander said

"My main function right now is to repair my crew, not go on a killing spree," Teletraan 1 said

"Yeah, I'll take your word for it," Xander said.

"Thank.. You Xan'dar," the computer said.

"Uhh, that was sarcasm," Xander said

"What is sarcasm?" the computer asked.

"Never mind," Xander said.

"So, what do I do to help with your repair systems?" Xander asked.

"Input this command into the terminal," Teletraan 1 instructed.

"Okay Mister Roboto," Xander said, "I am inputting."

"My designation is not Mister Roboto, it is Teletraan 1," the computer replied.

Xander smirked, "Whatever."

As Xander began to work on the system he asked, "So, what are you doing in my neck of the woods?"

"This ship is designated the Ark; it was launched from Cybertron by Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, four million years ago," Teletraan 1 said.

"Whoa, four million years?" Xander said, "Wow, so how did you crash?"

"This ship was attacked by the Decepticon ship Nemesis, the Decepticons attempted to board but were stopped by the gravity field of this world."

"So, there's nothing of these Decptity thingies here?" Xander asked.

"That is correct, none of them made it aboard. The Nemesis crashed somewhere in a large body of water to the north."

"Was their ship destroyed?" Xander asked.

"There is a good chance it was not destroyed, the Nemesis is most likely in the same state that this ship is in," Teletraan 1 said.

"Ouch, probably waiting for some sap to fix it," Xander said.

"Question: would your race fix it?" Teletraan 1 asked.

"Yeah most likely, especially if it was a government that found it," Xander said.

"Then most likely it has not been found, the computer on board Nemesis would have repaired its crew and your race would have been extinct by now," Teletraan 1 stated.

"Wow, thanks for the warm vibes you're giving me," Xander said.

"You're welcome Xan'dar."

"That was sarcasm again," Xander said.

"Oh, your race's language has so many different meanings," Teletraan 1 said.

"So," Xander said, "I got the commands inputted, now what?" Xander asked.

"We wait until the repair systems start fixing the crew," Teletraan 1 said.

"Okay then, you don't need me," Xander said as he turned too leave.

Teletraan 1 stopped Xander from leaving, "I am afraid I must ask you another favour Xan'dar."

"What? I helped you get your system online," Xander said, "what more I can I do?"

"You can aid my crew in learning about the customs of this world," Teletraan 1 said.

"Uhh okay, I guess, but you might want someone more qualified to teach you're people about Earth," Xander said.

"But right now you are the only creature I know of Xan'dar, please help," the computer said.

"Ah, I guess I could give them some pointers then," Xander said.

Xander heard a massive sound from deeper in the ship, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!?" Xander screamed.

"That would be one of the crew," Teletraan 1 said.

Xander heard pounding footsteps coming their way, he got ready to run when he saw a massive red and blue robot with blue eyes look down at him.

"Greetings, I am Optimus Prime," it said to him.

Xander fainted.

"Will it be all right?" Optimus asked the computer.

"The human shall be alright in a few seconds," it said.

"That's good, I would hate for this to be our official first contact," Optimus said.

Xander moaned and woke up, he said, "Man, I had a weird dream that there was a giant robot here."

Optimus walked over and said, "It was no dream human."

"Oh!!"

"May I ask your name human?" Optimus said.

"Uhhhhh, it's Xander Harris sir," he said.

"Ah, then Xan'dar Harris it is a pleasure to meet you," Optimus said.

"Uhh, it's _Xander_ not Xan'dar."

"Oh, my apologies Xander," Optimus said.

"It's alright," Xander said, "so, what would you like to know about Earth?"

"Everything you can tell us," Optimus said, "from the damage to our ship it looks like we will be here for a while."

"Uhh, okay," Xander said, "you're the boss."

"I am sure we will be good friends Xander," Optimus said.

A few months later Xander was still with the Autobots teaching them as much as he could about Earth culture, he had even helped them find vehicle forms.

Hound was with Xander driving to town to pick up the food that he needed.

"Xander, too bad you can't ingest energon like we can or else we could just give you that," Hound said.

"Ahh, where's the fun in that," Xander said, "bland fuel? I like my food with taste."

Optimus was busy scanning earth looking for signs of the Nemesis; it wasn't where Teletraan 1 calculated it would be.

He sighed; where could it be? Not even natural disasters could have moved it this far.

Perceptor came in and said, "Optimus, you must recharge. I doubt we will find out where the Nemesis is today."

"I know Perceptor, I have found out how curious humans are from Xander and I am worried if humans find the Nemesis they might activate Megatron."

"An all too real fear," Perceptor said, "but we need to start to make plans about gathering energy."

Xander came in with Hound and said, "Hey droids, how's things going?"

Bumblebee said, "Xander, stop calling us droids. We saw those movies you know and we are _way _more advanced than those things."

"Yeah, I know," he said and grinned.

Optimus walked down from the command center and said, "Ah Xander, it's good to see you back safely. How was your trip?"

Ratchet came in and said, "Xander, I need you to come back to medical bay for more scans, I want to learn more about your species biology."

Xander said, "You're one step from dissecting me, you know that right?

Ratchet started to get flustered and said, "I would never do _that _to a sentient creature."

"Chill, okay Ratchet. I know you wouldn't do that Xander said, "You're probably the nicest doc I know."

Meanwhile Ironhide was scanning, what Xander called; the world wide web when he came something across on E-Bay.

"It can't be? By Primus no," Ironside said, "this is impossible!!!"

Xander and the others heard the scream as they rushed to the room.

"What is it Ironhide?" Optimus said the worry in his voice evident."

"On this E-Bay site, there is someone selling Cybertronian artefacts," Ironhide said.

Xander looked at the pictures and said, "Who would be stupid enough to sell alien artefacts on E-bay?"

"I am not sure Xander, but some of that stuff that this person is selling most defiantly Decepticon," Optimus said.

"It's worse than you think Optimus," Perceptor said, "One of those objects might trigger the Nemesis."

"What do you mean!!?" Xander screamed, "this thing could activate the Decepticon ship!!? Oh, that sounds bad."

"It is bad Xander, this world is a rich source of energy and Megatron would suck this world dry," Optimus said.

Meanwhile at the Initiative, Maggie Walsh was looking at the latest shipment of technology from NID headquarters. It was made of some white metal and it had some menacing violet face seared on it.

"This would be perfect for project ADAM," she thought.

TBC

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	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Same as previous chapter.

Chapter 2

Xander looked at the Autobots and asked, "So do we know who is auctioning off those artefacts?"

"Yes Xander," Perceptor said, "his screen name on E-bay is Ladiesman217 but we have found out his name is Samuel Witwicky, he is 17 years old."

Xander stared into space and said, "His user name is Ladiesman217? Wow that sounds kinda lame."

Hound asked, "Xander why does that user name sound lame?"

"It's not that it sounds lame, it sounds like what any hormonally charged teenaged male would pick as his name," Xander said.

"But then," Xander added, "I admit that I probably would have picked that name too since I'm only a year older than the guy."

"So, do we know where he lives?" Xander asked.

Perceptor looked up and said, "I believe he lives in Tranquility, California but unfortunately we don't have an exact location.

Xander smiled, "I know where Tranquility is I passed through it on my way here."

"Excellent Xander, then you know the town then?" Optimus said hopefully.

"Yeah, I spent a couple of nights there so I learned the layout of the town," Xander said.

"Good job Xander, we would like you to make contact with Samuel Witwicky. You will take Hound, Bumblebee and Mirage," Optimus said.

Hound said, "Yes sir, we shall leave within the hour."

Xander asked, "Could I take Blaster with us too, the fact that he can turn into a radio would be an asset on the mission."

"Good thinking Xander," Optimus said, "Blaster go with them."

"You got it leader bot," Blaster said as he walked over to Xander.

"Hey Blaster, its good to have you along with us," Xander said.

"Hey thanks little man," Blaster said, "I was going to go crazy here if I had to stay at base for another second."

"No problem, I need someone who can go where I and the other guys can't," Xander said.

Blaster transformed into his small radio form and Xander picked him up.

"Optimus, when do you want us to leave?" Xander asked.

"You have to leave as soon as possible Xander, we can't risk any of those artefacts following into the wrong hands," Optimus said, "now move out."

Xander said, "You got it sir, we will keep you updated as we make progress."

"Also Xander, be careful; you aren't as hardy as we are," Optimus said.

"I will be careful Optimus," Xander said.

As they were about to leave, Wheeljack came out and said, "Xander wait, I designed an exosuit for you to use if you need it."

Xander looked at Wheeljack and said, "Thank you."

Optimus walked out and said, "Before you go; this is a peaceful mission and I don't expect combat. But if it comes to it protect Xander and Sam Witwicky to the best of your abilities."

Xander smirked and said, "Optimus, I think you just jinxed the mission."

As Xander and his team went out Optimus wondered what the word jinx meant.

The trip to Tranquility was going to be rather uneventful, so the Autobots decided to talk to Xander.

"So," Mirage said, "where did you grow up Xander?"

Xander looked up and said, "I grew up in Sunnydale, it's a town north of L.A."

"Sounds nice," Mirage said.

Xander laughed, "Oh it is nice during the day, but it's the nightlife that will kill you."

Hound said, "Is this about the parasitic lifeforms you told us about?"

"Yeah; their called Vampires," Xander said, "usually it's best to avoid them."

"Well, how did you find out about them?" Mirage asked.

"I found out when I was 15 years old when a girl named Buffy Summers came to my high school, She was the slayer; the one girl, who alone, would face the demons, the vampires and forces of evil," Xander said.

"That doesn't make sense to me," Blaster said from the seat next to Xander, "only together with a solid team behind you can you succeed in any battle."

Mirage said, "Yeah, this one girl in the world would make a short career."

"Your right about that," Xander said sadly, "most slayers only live for about 1 year or two after being called."

"How old are they when they are called?" Mirage asked.

"Usually about as young 15 years old," Xander said.

"And they usually live only a year after being called?" Mirage asked.

Xander nodded sadly.

Bumblebee said, "What a tragic waste of such young lives."

Blaster said, "Man that is NOT cool."

"Xander," Hound asked, "do they receive no aid or guidance?"

"Yeah, the watcher council guides them with agents called watchers, who train and guide the slayers or they are supposed to at least," Xander said.

"They don't give aid to their charges?" Hound asked.

"For the most part, most of the watchers I have met have been asses but Giles was cool and nice," Xander said.

"I was going to ask Xander; would you like to stop in to visit Sunnydale after we meet with Sam Witwicky?" Hound asked.

"Maybe," Xander said, "it's been awhile since I have seen or even talked to them. I have been too busy with you guys."

"Sorry if we screwed up your plans Xander," Hound said.

"Hey you guys didn't screw anything up, who knows where I might be right now if I hadn't discovered you guys," Xander said.

"Well, let's not worry about what might have been," Blaster said, "right here and now is what's important."

"That's true," Xander said as the transformers raced towards Tranquility.

"Well," Xander said, "I got to get some sleep."

"Very well," Hound said, "what time shall we wake you?"

"Doesn't matter really," said Xander.

Hound said, "You got it Xander, have a good night."

"Thanks," Xander said.

The Autobots spent the night talking about demons and the slayer; they decided that they would ask Optimus to assign someone to give assistance to the slayer.

The next morning Xander was awoken by Blaster singing in his ear.

"Dammit Blaster, I'm up, I'm up," he screamed, "What's going on?" Xander asked.

Hound said, "We are two miles from Tranquility, you should be able to see it from here."

"Oh good," Xander said, "Maybe I could stop for breakfast."

"Do you have enough currency for food Xander?" Bumblebee asked.

"Yeah I do," Xander said, "I had been saving up for years for this trip, so my spendthrifting ways paid for themselves."

Mirage said, "Well, don't take too long, we have to track down Sam Witwicky before too long."

"Yeah, yeah, but food comes first," Xander said.

Hound said, "if I may ask a favour; please don't eat anything gives you gas Xander, after all I am the one carrying you and I must add that I can smell."

As they stopped by a buffet place Blaster went in with Xander in his radio form.

Blaster said, "Boss man, should you be wolfing down that chemical energy stuff? You have eaten several sausages, eggs and 12 pancakes."

Xander said, "Hey Blaster, I am a growing boy after all."

"What are you growing into?" Blaster asked.

"Smartass," Xander said to the radio.

As he and Blaster left the restaurant, Xander crashed into someone.

Rupert Giles had been visiting Tranquility, researching some artefacts that had appeared on E-Bay. He had been worried that they were demonic in nature but they weren't, as he decided to get something to eat when he crashed into someone. Giles looked at the young man he crashed into and realized who it was.

"Xander, is that you my boy?" Giles asked.

"Uhh, G-man? Next time warn a fella before you crash into him," Xander said.

Giles heart had leapt into his throat; it had been several months since Xander had left and no word from him since. He and Oz had actually been quite worried, Buffy and Willow had also been worried but other things had been on their minds. He grabbed Xander and hugged him.

"Hey Giles, maybe let me get some air?" Xander said.

"Xander, where have you been? We have been terribly worried about you," Giles said.

"Busy," Xander said, "been real busy helping some friends."

"So busy you couldn't even call us and let us know you were still alive?" Giles said with a bit of anger in his voice.

"Actually, yes Giles," Xander said, "I just have a lot on my mind right now, I got to find someone."

"Xander, are you in trouble? If you are tell me and I can help you," Giles said, "please don't shut me out."

"Its alright, I'm just in a rush," Xander said.

Giles watched as Xander got into a green jeep and drove off, he rushed into his own car to follow Xander.

Hound looked back and saw a car following them, who was that? He wondered.

"Xander, who is following us?" Hound asked, "Do you recognize the car?"

"Yeah, I do," Xander said, "its Giles, he's one of my friends. I ran into him after I ate."

"Any reason why he is following us?" Mirage asked.

Xander grinned, "I might have been a bit dodgy about where I have been for the last few months."

"Why not just tell him the truth Xander?" Bumblebee asked.

"Because then he would have me hauled off to the nut house," Xander said.

Hound said, "We could transform in front of him and introduce ourselves Xander."

"No," Xander screamed, "I don't want him to have a heart attack, so we should avoid that for now."

Mirage said, "Well let me handle it then. Now you see us, now you don't."

Giles watched as Xander's car and the other vehicles disappeared.

"What the bloody hell?" Giles screamed.

Xander watched as Giles's car stopped and Giles stepped out looking for him, he felt badly about doing this but he didn't want Giles or the girls to get involved, they could get hurt.

"Good job Mirage," Xander said, "he should be confused enough for awhile so that he won't be looking for me."

"Thanks Xander, but we should talk to him later. I think he was worried about you," Mirage said.

"Yeah, he was guys but this isn't his problem and he has enough problems without me adding to them," Xander said.

"Well Xander, if you say so," Hound said.

Giles just sat there staring at where the cars had disappeared and whispered, "What have you gotten yourself into Xander?"

Meanwhile, Xander and his new friends had gotten to the high school where they had traced Sam Witwicky to.

"So, this is where Sam Witwicky goes to school?" Xander asked.

"Yes," Hound said, "its where his school records indicated that this is his school."

Bumblebee asked, "So, what's the plan Xander?"

"I will pretend to be a high school student," Xander said, "and I will see if I can locate Sam Witwicky."

"It would have been easier with a picture," Mirage said.

"I got one from Perceptor," Blaster said.

"Can you show me the picture?" Xander asked.

"You got it man," Blaster said as he projected a hologram of the picture.

"Uuugh," Xander said, "I will be the first to admit that I sometimes don't take good pictures but goddamn, there are SOME pictures you shouldn't release to the public and this is ONE of them."

Xander said, "Blaster, I need you to radio headquarters."

"Sure thing bossman," Blaster said.

"Hey Perceptor, Xander needs to talk to you," Blaster said.

"Ah yes Xander, what do you need?" Perceptor asked.

"Can you give me some false school records? So I can search the school without raising suspicions," Xander said.

Perceptor said, "I can do that easily, but one assumes this kind of activity is highly illegal?"

"Hey, it's only a crime if you get caught," Xander said, "and I am not trying to hurt anyone."

"Very well Xander, give me a couple minutes," Perceptor said, "Okay, its done."

"Thanks Perceptor," Xander said

"Your very welcome, good luck Xander," Perceptor said.

"Well Xander," Hound asked, "will you be able to locate Sam Witwicky?"

"Yeah, you know it Hound," Xander said as he got ready to go.

As Xander walked into the school he sighed, "Yet another day of school."

Meanwhile back in Sunnydale, Maggie Walsh had just finished putting the new components into Adam.

'They will help his performance,' she thought.

As Megatron's sensors came online he asked, "Where am I?"

AN: If you are wondering who Blaster is, he the G-1 Autobots answer to Soundwave and he has the same cassettes as him, or should they be CD's?

TBC

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	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Same as previous chapters.

Chapter 3

Xander sighed as he walked through the high school looking for Sam Witwicky, "where was this kid hiding?" he grumbled.

Blaster muttered, "Hey boss, why don't we just go around and ask where Sam is?"

"Because Blaster, I don't want to get people's suspicions up," Xander said.

"Hey don't be down man, maybe you will be put in the same class as him," Blaster said.

"Yeah and I might gain the golden touch," Xander said.

As Xander got into the last class of the day Blaster nudged him a bit and said, "Hey boss man, looks like you will be getting that golden touch cause there is our man."

Xander sat there with a dumbfounded look on his face and said, "Fuck me, your right!!"

Sam Witwicky got up and began to do his genealogy report, Xander stared; was this punk hocking what his ancestor left him?

"So guys these were the things my famous ancestor; Archibald Amundsen Witwicky, left my family and also among his personal artefacts these odd objects which no one knows what they are," Sam said.

"Is this a report or an auction, Mr Witwicky?" the teacher asked.

Xander found himself agreeing with the teacher, 'god was he going to try to offer the guy's liver next?'

Sam noticed the new guy watching him like a hawk, 'why was this guy staring at me? Hey, maybe he's checking me out?' he thought.

"But anyways guy's, any money I make from this is going to go to my car fund." Sam said.

'What the hell!!?' Xander thought, 'This guy was putting the world at risk for a car?'

'Wait,' Xander thought, 'that gives me an idea.'

"Hey boss man I know that look, what's the plan you're forming?" Blaster asked.

"He wants a car does he?" Xander said, "Well let's give him one."

Blaster said, "Good idea but which bot do we use?"

"Hmmm," Xander said, "what about Bumblebee? He has a good car model and it might appeal to him."

Bumblebee radioed Xander and said, "Don't I get a choice in this matter?"

Xander grinned slightly and said, "Not really, you're the best choice right now as Hound is a jeep and Mirage just looks too fancy to be in a car lot."

Bumblebee asked, "So, I am being chosen because I look the worst?"

Xander said, "Yep, pretty much."

"Lovely, just lovely," Bumblebee said.

Xander smiled; he was getting attached to the alien robots as they were becoming close friends.

"Well, we can follow them when they go shopping and move Bumblebee into the lot," Xander said.

Mirage said, "Sounds like a plan boss."

Hound said, "I will inform Optimus of the plan."

"Good idea," Xander said, "and just in case ask him to send backup if we need it."

Optimus Prime got the notice of the plan, he turned to Perceptor and said, "It looks like we will be retrieving the artefacts soon."

"Excellent Optimus Prime," Perceptor said, "and it was a good idea to put Xander in charge, his knowledge shall come in handy."

"Indeed, I am glad he found the Ark and I shudder to think what would have happened if someone with less morals had found us," Optimus said.

Meanwhile, back in Tranquility Xander was following Sam Witwicky and his father on his way to get his first car.

As they drove to a new car lot, Sam got excited and said, you're kidding me man, this is going to be my first car?"

"Your right, I am kidding you. We are going here," Ron said as they pulled into Bobby Boliva's used car lot.

Xander watched as that happened and winced, there was a man who was going to need therapy later on.

"Okay Bumblebee, get in there and make yourself look presentable okay?" Xander said.

"All right, but I swear if I get a paint job I will find some way to get back at you," Bumblebee said.

"Yeah, yeah, hop to it, Xander said.

Bumblebee grumbled and was relived to notice that Sam seemed interested in him and now they were haggling over price, he decided to blow out every window in the lot to make the owner feel like selling him for discount.

Xander watched that and thought, 'Damn, I am NEVER going to piss that bot off!!"

Hound said, "Looks like the plan is working and we can track them now."

"Oh goody, I get to track a hormonally charged teenager," Xander said.

"Hey," Blaster said, "it could be worse."

"How could it be worse?" Xander said.

"Well there could be Decepticons here and we could be in for a battle," Blaster said.

"Don't say that," Xander said, "now there is most likely going to be a battle."

"Don't be a pessimist Xander."

Bumblebee was busy being washed by Sam and waiting for Xander to find him and hopefully take him before Sam got it in his head to paint him.

Xander and Hound had tracked Bumblebee's signal to a fairly nice house in the outskirts of Tranquilty.

Sam noticed the jeep come up and admired how nice it was, when he saw the new guy get out of it.

Xander walked up to Sam and said, "hey there, do you still have those odd artefacts for sale Sam?"

"Yeah I do, totally," Sam said, "you interested in buying them?"

"I might be, what's the price for all of them?" Xander asked.

"Not sure, what could you afford?" Sam asked.

"I'm not a rich man," Xander said, "but I should be able to give you something for them."

"Well, they are priceless heirlooms so I'm not sure. I could let them go for less then 500 dollars," Sam said.

"Or," he added, "You could trade me that very nice looking radio for them," Sam said.

Xander was grumbling under his breath when Blaster suddenly spoke up, "hey bossman, I'm picking up some weird signals."

"What?" Xander said, "Are they Decepticons?"

"It could be Xander," Hound said, "let's get ready, just in case."

"Hey, did your radio and jeep just talk to you?" Sam asked.

"Uhh no, it's a figment of your imagination," Xander said.

As Xander was trying to talk Sam out of calling the police, no one noticed a police car coming their way.

Xander looked back and saw the car there and said, "Damn, the police in this town are either psychic or they were already on their way."

Then he noticed the wording on the side of the car, 'To punish and enslave? WOW, the police here just weren't trying any more.'

Barricade saw the human he was looking for, but there was another human that he would have to take care of.

He transformed and said to Sam Witwicky, "Are you Ladiesman217?!!"

Xander backed off and said to Hound, "I thought all of the Decepticons were still sleeping or whatever?"

Hound said, "Well, they didn't put their entire army into the Nemesis, several stayed on Cybertron."

"Lovely and look at Sam; he looks like he's about to piss his pants," Xander said.

Sam backed away terrified, as he backed into Xander and he looked at the other man and said, "We better run away."

Xander grinned and looked at Barricade, "HEY crap bot, down here."

Barricade looked down and said, "Give me Sam Witwicky and you will not be hurt."

Sam looked at Xander with fear in his eyes, pleading with him not to take the offer.

Xander smiled and said, "I wouldn't turn a vampire over to you, let alone another human."

Barricade said, "foolish decision; for now you die with him."

"Autobots, attack," Xander said.

Sam stood there as the radio the other man had transformed into a large robot, then the jeep transformed and his car transformed.

Barricade looked at the autobots and began to retreat.

"What's the matter; you're all big and stuff when it's just two humans but when there's more, you back away," Xander said.

"I will be back with reinforcements," Barricade said.

Bumblebee looked at Xander and said, "Well, that could have gone better."

Sam suddenly screamed, "WHAT the FUCK is going on here?!?"

Xander grinned and said, "Well, it's obvious; they are giant robots."

Sam growled and said, "THAT'S not a good answer."

Bumblebee went to explain everything to Sam Witwicky.

Sam just stood there and said, "WOW, you mean these pieces of junk are actually something important?"

Xander said, "That's the gist of it."

"So, how about you guys take them and leave me alone?" Sam asked.

"No good," Xander said, "I don't know how many of those decepticons there are, but it's a good bet that they know who you are."

Sam just walked around in a circle and said, "What do I do now?"

Bumblebee came to him and said, "You should come with us then we can protect you."

"What about my parents?" Sam asked.

Xander grinned and said, "Bring them with us."

Meanwhile in Sunnydale, Megatron was learning more about his new body. The people who put him in this body would pay; this thing he was in was an insult to him and the Decepticons themselves. But first; he would have to build a new body for himself and while that was happening he would get all the information about this world's defensive abilities from the woman who called herself; 'Mother.'

Maggie walked in and saw Adam looking at a computer and asked him, "What are you doing Adam?"

Megatron smiled and said, "Why, I am learning, mother."

TBC

Please rate and review


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Same as previous chapters

Warning: Sam's mom will be using the same dialogue she had in the movie, so she will be as embarrassing as she was in the film.

Chapter 4

Megatron was looking over the computer files of this Initiative place; it seemed they were conducting medical experiments on creatures. 'Hmm,' he thought, 'they were cruel without regard for these creatures' rights, we could have been such friends if not for what they turned ME into.'

Meanwhile, Xander was in Sam Witwicky's room helping him pack and locate all of the Decepticon artefacts.

Xander sighed and said, "You need help Sammy?"

"No," Sam said, "I know where they are, it's just that I haven't cleaned in a while," as he pulled out a bunch of magazines.

Xander raised an eyebrow at the magazines and Sam said, "Hey, I'm a teenager."

"Don't worry," Xander said, "I'm not judging."

Sam smiled widely and said, "Hey, I think I found them," as he pulled out a box and pulled out several things.

Xander said, "That looks like them alright," as he examined one of them closely.

Sam and Xander looked at the machines and Xander saw the purple Decepticon symbol when he heard Sam's parents knock on the door.

Ron said, "Sam, what are you doing in there? You're causing a bit of noise in there."

Sam said, "Nothing dad, just a bit busy."

His mom said, "Sam, are you masturbating in there?"

Xander looked at Sam and said, "Wow, I love your mom man."

Ron looked at his wife and said, "You don't ask that."

"Well, we can call it 'Sam's happy time' then," Judy said.

Sam was red in the face while Xander had fallen on his back laughing.

"Dude, it's not THAT funny!!" Sam said.

"Your right," Xander said, "it's even funnier."

Ron and Judy got in and they saw Sam, who was red in the face, and Ron asked, "What's going on in here?"

Sam said, "Uhh, nothing dad, just busy right now."

Ron said, "Sam, are you on drugs?"

Xander sighed, got up and smiled and waved at them.

Judy just stared and said, "Uhh hi, I'm Judy."

Xander grinned and said, "I'm Xander Harris."

"Oh Sam, you should have just told us," Ron said.

Xander began to laugh again as Sam tried to explain to his parents that he wasn't gay.

Sam came in and said, "They said I could come with you but I have call every day, oh and thank you. Because of you they now think I'm gay."

Xander said, "Sorry, if you want you can break up with me afterwards," as he started to laugh again.

Sam said, "Well not before thanksgiving because you are apparently invited."

"Wow, you have such interesting parents," Xander said.

Sam said, "Well, they are certainly unique."

"Don't knock them man, I would have loved having parents like them," Xander said.

As they got out Xander heard Blaster call him, "Hey boss; we got a call from Optimus."

Xander sighed and said, "What's the boss want?"

"Preceptor got some odd signals from your home town," Blaster said.

"What kind of signals?" Xander asked.

"Like Preceptor said; odd signals, Optimus wants you to check it out."

Xander said, "Well, what about Sam and the artefacts?"

Sam said, "Could I come with you? Because I have like never left Tranquility before."

Xander said, "Well, I'm not big with exposing you to danger Sam."

Sam said, "I can handle myself and I got you and the bots to help me, right?"

Xander said, "Fine but you listen to me, okay? And if I tell you to do something, you do it."

Judy ran out and said, "Sam, take Mojo with you, he needs his buddy."

Xander saw a small Chihuahua wearing a jewelled collar and said, "What a beautiful girl."

Sam said, "It's a boy dog, mom coddles him a little too much."

Xander stared and said, "Ookay lets roll out."

As Xander and Sam drove towards Sunnydale, Optimus Prime, along with Ratchet and Ironhide, decided to meet Xander in Sunnydale.

Xander sighed as he listened to the radio, Sam was busy watching the scenery flow by and he had to stop staring at Xander.

"So," Xander said as he glanced over at Sam, "what did you need the car for?"

"Well," Sam blushed and said, "I wanted to pick up girls with it."

Xander began to laugh and he said, "And you think a car will help you with women?"

"Well," Sam said, "it wouldn't hurt, I mean a guy like you could have any woman he wants, right?"

Xander said, "Not really, trust me on that."

"Oh?" Sam said, "So you're single then?"

"Yeah," Xander said, "Why, you interested?" he laughed.

Sam said, "No, just asking man."

Xander raised an eyebrow and said, "Really!!?"

"Well, you are, like, the first person who ever thought my parents are normal," Sam said.

"They actually seem nice," Xander said.

"Well, most of my friends run screaming from them," Sam said.

"Why?" Xander asked.

"You met them, you tell me Xander," Sam said.

"I like them," Xander said.

A couple of hours later Xander saw the sign: 'Welcome to Sunnydale.' "He said, "Hound, stop."

Hound stopped and said, "Why Xander?"

"I have to tell Sam about the nightmares of this town," Xander said.

Sam looked and said, "It looks like a normal town to me."

Xander said, "Yeah but there are vampires and demons here."

Sam looked and said, "What?"

Xander said, "I meant what I said: vampires AND demons."

"That can't be real Xander," Sam said.

"Yes, like giant alien robots?" Xander said.

Sam winced and said, "Low blow man, low blow."

Bumblebee said, "He's telling the truth Sam, he showed us proof of the creatures actually."

Xander said, "Now Sam, you stick with me because I don't want you getting killed, or worse."

Sam stared and said, "What's worse than being killed?"

Xander said, "In this town? Coming back."

Sam paled and said, "I think I am going to hate this town man."

"Wow, it usually takes four to five weeks for people to hate this town," Xander said.

Xander stopped at the motel and Sam noticed a lot of crosses everywhere and he looked at Xander.

"Vamps can't enter privately owned homes without being invited," Xander said, "but motel and hotel rooms don't offer that protection."

Sam just clung to Xander and said, "Oh god!!! And YOU grew UP here!!!?"

"Yes," Xander said, "a blissfully ignorant of the darkness until my best friend was turned and saw the demon wearing his face."

Sam looked at him with curiosity and said, "What does that mean?"

"Well, when vampire turns someone, they take their blood and make the person drink it," Xander said

"Eww," Sam said.

"Yeah but they lose their souls and a demon possesses the body," Xander said.

"So," Sam said, "are they the same person or what?"

"I asked Giles about that and he said no, they have the memories but it's a demon not the person."

Sam nodded and said, "So, where are we going from here?"

Xander said, "I had Blaster radio Optimus, who will meet us here."

"So we just hang out or something like that?" Sam asked.

Xander looked at him and said, "What do you want to do?"

"Well, there's gotta be a club or something like that, right?" Sam said.

Xander nodded and said, "There is but I kind of wanted to wait for Optimus."

Blaster said, "Awww come on Xander, Sam looks bored. Why don't you and he go out, I can radio Optimus to meet us there."

Xander sighed and said, "Guess I'm out voted here."

Blaster said, "Yep, Mirage can keep an eye on the place, along with Bumblebee."

Xander sighed and said, "Alright then, let's go to the Bronze."

As the two went to the Bronze, Buffy and Willow were meeting with Giles who just came back from north to look at some artefacts that had interested him.

"So Giles," Buffy said, "you saw Xander and he ran from you?"

Willow said, "That doesn't sound like Xander."

Giles said, "And he was driving a jeep and as I followed him, the jeep and the two cars _disappeared."_

"Hmm," Buffy said, "when we finish with the Initiative, we will deal with what Xander's dealing with."

Sam noticed Xander had brought a gun with him and said, "What's that for?"

"It's for the vampires if they decide to attack us. Guns don't work on them usually but I'm guessing a plasma gun can hurt them," Xander said.

Sam nodded as they walked into the Bronze, he looked around and said, "Nice place."

Xander said, "Hey, Dingoes Ate My Babies is playing, one of my friends boyfriends plays there."

Oz was playing with the band when he saw Xander, along with some other guy, sit at a table and thought, 'He's back, I'm going to have to say hi to him."

Blaster said, "Now these cats have some real good music," as he began to mimic the tune Oz was playing.

Xander said, "Blaster, just try to keep quiet, Sunnydale syndrome won't be able to handle you talking."

Sam said, "Hey, they ARE good."

Xander nodded, when he suddenly heard a female scream out, "XANDER!!!?" He looked back and saw Buffy and Willow, along with some blonde man staring at him."

Buffy looked at Xander with surprise on her face and said, "Xander where have you been?"

Xander said, "Uhh, busy helping some friends up north."

Sam whispered, "That's the best you can come up with?"

Xander glared and whispered, "Yes but I don't know what's going on here now, I've been gone for months."

Buffy said, "Xander, that's not a good enough excuse and also; who's your friend?"

Xander grumbled inwardly and said, "That's Sam."

Sam smiled and said, "Hi there."

Buffy said, "Hi but now if you excuse us, Xander, Giles wants to see you."

Xander said, "No, I'm waiting for some people and them and I are leaving town again."

Willow said, "Xander, are you in a gang now?"

Xander said, "No Willow, you know me better than that right?"

Buffy said, "Xander, you need to come with us now, please."

Xander said again, "Buffy, I'm busy with other things right now, sorry."

Then Xander heard Blaster whisper, "Boss man I got signals coming in."

Xander froze and whispered back, "Are they Decepticon or Optimus and the boys?"

Blaster said, "Definitely not Autobot."

Xander grimaced and said, "Decepticon then? Damn it!!" as he reached Sam's hand and said, "Sam, we gotta get going."

Sam said, "Why? What's going on?"

Xander looked at Sam and said, "We have company."

Buffy, Willow and Riley ran after Xander, who hopped into his jeep and was about to drive out when they saw a police car stop them.

Xander grabbed his plasma pistol and shot at the car, Buffy screamed, "NO Xander, it's the cops!!!" When, to her horror, the car began to make sounds and transformed into a robot.

Barricade looked at Xander and said, "Hand over the artefacts and the boy NOW or be destroyed."

Xander fired again at Barricade's body and shouted, "No way are you touching them or Sam."

"Foolish decision this time, you do not have superior numbers," Barricade said as six vehicles came driving in.

Hound said, "Slag, it's the Constructicons!!!"

Xander said, "They do something bad?"

Hound said, "You could say that."

Xander said, "Blaster; radio Mirage and Bumblebee and tell them to get here and NOW!!"

"Already done boss," Blaster yelled as he transformed.

Buffy and Willow by now were panicking at the giant robots, who where in the middle of the street. Willow screamed as Xander's jeep transformed.

Riley was just watching Xander through narrowed eyes and realized that the two robots were taking their orders from HIM, he said, "Hmmm, interesting."

Mirage and Bumblebee came rolling in and saw the Constructicons. Bumblebee said, "Lovely and I thought this was going to be an easy mission," and transformed.

Buffy saw Xander was standing next to the green robot, she screamed, "Xander, get away from them, now."

Xander said, "Sam, stay behind me."

Barricade said, "Surrender now and I will spare you."

Xander said, "You already know my decision don't you?"

Barricade said, "Yes but now there are other humans around, I believe you will do anything to protect them," as he narrowed his red optical sensors on Buffy and Willow.

Optimus drove in and said, "I would expect a Decepticon to use hostages like that."

Xander sighed with relief and said, "Looks like my reinforcements are here."

Barricade nodded towards the Constructicons and said, "Now."

Xander heard one of the robots say, "Constructicons: form Devastator!!" Xander just stared as the six robots formed into one giant one.

"Oh," Xander said, "That is SO not fair!!!"

Poll question: How will the Scooby gang handle THIS big bad?

Please rate and review

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Same as previous chapter but I must add that I don't own the Stargate series as well

Chapter 5

Xander looked at the massive robot and muttered, "I hate those robots," as he ducked a massive fist.

Devastator said, "Destroy everything!!" as Xander managed to blast the massive robot in the face, it looked at Xander and grabbed him and said, "You will pay for that."

Willow shot a bolt of magical electricity at the robot only look on in horror as the spell fizzled out against the robot.

Hound managed to tear Xander from Devastator; Xander sighed with relief and said, "Thanks big green."

"No problem," Hound said as he blasted at the robot and radioed to Optimus, "Where are you?"

Optimus heard the radio call and said, "We are going to be there in a second so just hold on."

Buffy jumped and tried to pull Xander and Sam from the battle zone, "Xander," she screamed, "Run, NOW!!!"

Xander looked at her and said, "You guys run," as he fired another plasma bolt at Devastator, doing almost nothing to the robot.

Riley stared at Xander and resolved to take him back to the base for questioning and convince him that it was in his best interest to turn over the technology of these robots.

Willow suddenly saw a red semi truck come in, along with a number of vehicles. She heard Xander sigh with relief as the red truck suddenly said, "Autobots; transform."

Optimus said, Sorry Xander, there was backup on the highway."

"No problem!!" Xander screamed as Devastator swung at him again.

Hound was firing at Devastator while Bumblebee and Blaster were busy trying to keep any of the humans from getting hurt or worse.

Barricade saw the rest of the Autobots and looked at Devastator and said, "We have to leave, this is a tactical disadvantage, even for you."

"I can still win," Devastator said as he went towards Bumblebee.

"No we can't," Barricade said, "against three or four yes but there is ten."

Devastator looked at Xander and narrowed its eyes and said, "This isn't over," as it separated into the constructions and drove away.

Barricade said, "He is right, you have interfered in our plans for too many times. Next time it will not go well for you."

"Yeah, yeah," Xander muttered, "wouldn't be the first time someone threatened me like this."

Optimus looked at Sam and said, "Mr Witwicky, I am Optimus Prime. It is good to meet you."

Buffy said, "Xander, what the HELL have you gotten yourself involved in!!?"

Xander sighed and said, "I'll tell you later Buffy," as he turned to Sam and said, "Sam, you alright there?"

"Dude, it was big robots that turned into one GIANT robot!!!" Sam said, "So I am SO not okay right now!!!"

Xander said, "At least the battle wasn't that bad."

Oz came out and said, "Cool, giant robots."

Buffy said, "Xander was about to explain himself to us about his new friends."

"No, I wasn't," Xander said, "I was about to make sure Sam was safe."

Riley growled and said, "Xander Harris, by order of the United States military; you and Sam Witwicky are under arrest."

"What are the charges?" Xander demanded.

"Aiding and abetting enemies of the United States," Riley said with a bit of a sneer.

Optimus looked at Riley and said, "We are not your enemies, we are a race of autonomous robotic life forms from the planet Cybertron."

"Be that as it may Xander should have reported contact with you to the proper authorities," Riley said.

"Yeah because the government would have treated them so well," Xander growled.

Riley frowned, this should have been easy Xander should have just done what's best for his country and reported these things to the government and with their technology.

"No," Xander said, "these guys aren't a threat to the world; those other guys are the threat."

"And," Optimus said, "We would be happy to aid you against any Decepticon threat."

Buffy looked at the giant red robot and her gut feeling was telling her that it could be trusted.

Riley was about to say something else when Buffy slapped him in the back of the head and said, "Riley, shut up okay, they aren't evil."

"But Buffy, we could use their technology against demons and other threats to Earth!!"

Optimus sighed, "We would share technology that you are ready for. But young man I see the hunger in your eyes, so answer me: are you ready for our technology?"

Riley looked at him and said, "Yes, we are we need of it."

"No," Optimus said, "you need allies not technology and we will be those allies."

"But," Riley said, "you have no idea what I am talking about when I say 'other threats.'"

Preceptor said, "You're talking about the Stargate program, are you not?"

Riley sputtered, "How did you know about that!!?"

"I studied your military programs and it was easy for Teletraan 1 to break though the passwords and system protections without being caught," Preceptor said.

"Then you know what we are going through?" Riley said.

"Indeed I do," Preceptor said, "but given your past experiences with the Replicators would you, could you trust us as allies?"

Riley said it wouldn't be as allies we need technology right now

Optimus looked at the young man and saw himself when he was Orion Pax before he got recreated into Optimus Prime and knew a good heart when he saw one but this one was being led astray by evil minds.

Optimus said, "Your race is not ready for our technology but we offer our friendship and guidance."

"But," Riley stammered as the giant robots transformed and were about to roll out.

Xander said, "Buffy; you and the guys can ride in Ironhide."

Buffy looked at the red van and said, "Well guys, we wanted an explanation and I think we are going to get one."

Optimus looked at Riley and said, "You have a choice now; you can come with us and leave the path you're on now and find a new way."

Riley coughed and realized the robot was right, he hated the cloak and dagger bullshit of the NID and wanted to try a new way to serve his country.

"Come on," Xander said, "don't look back and not regret getting in the truck."

"Okay," Riley said, "but I am just coming along to make sure proper protocols are maintained for a first contact."

"Suit yourself," Xander said as he saw Riley get into Ironhide with the others.

Sam sighed; this day was turning into one of the weirdest days of his life, except it WAS the weirdest day in his life.

Xander said, 'Sam, what's wrong?"

"How do you handle the weirdness of your life Xander?" Sam asked.

"By trying my best not to think how weird life can get," Xander replied, "and life CAN get really weird, trust me."

Meanwhile on the Initiative base, Megatron had listened to some of the soldiers talk about giant robots so he decided to take the risk and try to contact whoever they were.

He found a communication terminal and said, "This is Megatron; leader of the Decepticons. If there are any Decepticons hearing this, report in."

"Barricade reporting in."

'Excellent!' Megatron thought, 'Soon they could get me out and make a new body for me.'

Megatron said, "Now come and retrieve me, use this signal to find my coordinates."

"Yes," Barricade said calmly, he looked at the Constructions and said, "We have found Megatron and soon we will find out where the Nemesis is."

Poll question: Do you guys want me to expand on the Stargate tie-in later on in the story? And what do you think the Decepticon attack on the Initiative base will be like? How will Riley take to working with the Autobots or will he be stupid enough to betray them?

TBC

Please rate and review.


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